Speedy politician signs deal with Roush racing, Cheetos
Lt. Gov. Bauer making move to NASCAR
Speedy politician signs deal with Roush racing, Cheetos
By: 6 feet 9 inches, 210 pounds">Stephen Fastenau
6 feet 9 inches, 210 pounds
Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer won't be running in June's GOP primary. Instead, he's decided to pursue a different type of race.
Bauer announced Thursday that he'd be leaving politics to pursue a career in NASCAR racing and is expected to join the Roush racing team as early as May.
A Roush spokesman confirmed the news early Thursday evening. Bauer will join a team that includes legendary driver Mark Martin and current Nextel Cup points-leader Matt Kenseth.
"We're really excited to bring Andre into the Roush family," said team owner Jack Roush. "I've seen what he can do behind the wheel, and this is in no way a bad move for us."
Bauer signed on to drive the "SC2" Ford Crown Victoria, and his sponsorships will include Dr. Scholls and Cheetos.
With Bauer out of the primary race, Michael Campbell, son of the late Gov. Carroll Campbell, emerged as the leading GOP candidate.
"Obviously this is a boost to our chances," Michael Campbell said Thursday. "This is obviously a good career move for Bauer and something that really plays to his strengths."
According to reports by The State, Bauer was clocked by a highway patrolman doing 101 mph on Feb. 25. Roush was alerted to the reports and was impressed by Bauer's ability to maintain such speeds while using a radio to talk to authorities, something he said would be good for "team communication."
Some are skeptical about Bauer's ability.
"It'll be interesting to see if he doesn't have some rust come May," said NASCAR expert Jake Broom. "I've heard that he's walking everywhere now."
Bauer's resume also includes being clocked at speeds of 77-78 mph in a 65 mph zone, according to The State.
"This could be a good fit," Broom said. "Bauer's from the heart of NASCAR country, a sport that has roots in high speeds and lawlessness. It'll be interesting to see how he does with the Roush team."
Noted: This story is based completely in satire and is all but completely untrue, with the only truth coming in what The State reported. Jack Roush, a Roush spokesman and Michael Campbell, as mentioned, were not interviewed for this story.
Bauer announced Thursday that he'd be leaving politics to pursue a career in NASCAR racing and is expected to join the Roush racing team as early as May.
A Roush spokesman confirmed the news early Thursday evening. Bauer will join a team that includes legendary driver Mark Martin and current Nextel Cup points-leader Matt Kenseth.
"We're really excited to bring Andre into the Roush family," said team owner Jack Roush. "I've seen what he can do behind the wheel, and this is in no way a bad move for us."
Bauer signed on to drive the "SC2" Ford Crown Victoria, and his sponsorships will include Dr. Scholls and Cheetos.
With Bauer out of the primary race, Michael Campbell, son of the late Gov. Carroll Campbell, emerged as the leading GOP candidate.
"Obviously this is a boost to our chances," Michael Campbell said Thursday. "This is obviously a good career move for Bauer and something that really plays to his strengths."
According to reports by The State, Bauer was clocked by a highway patrolman doing 101 mph on Feb. 25. Roush was alerted to the reports and was impressed by Bauer's ability to maintain such speeds while using a radio to talk to authorities, something he said would be good for "team communication."
Some are skeptical about Bauer's ability.
"It'll be interesting to see if he doesn't have some rust come May," said NASCAR expert Jake Broom. "I've heard that he's walking everywhere now."
Bauer's resume also includes being clocked at speeds of 77-78 mph in a 65 mph zone, according to The State.
"This could be a good fit," Broom said. "Bauer's from the heart of NASCAR country, a sport that has roots in high speeds and lawlessness. It'll be interesting to see how he does with the Roush team."
Noted: This story is based completely in satire and is all but completely untrue, with the only truth coming in what The State reported. Jack Roush, a Roush spokesman and Michael Campbell, as mentioned, were not interviewed for this story.
posted by The Loyal Servant of Truth at 3/31/2006 12:42:00 PM
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